My Story

My name is Anne and I'm trying to conceive my third child.
I decided to set up this site to share useful information with my my visitors, and hopefully to get to know you better.
Amongst the pages here you will find information and links related to having a baby.
I hope you will sign my guestbook and tell to others about your experiences As well as reading all about me and my family.
Love to you all,
Anne

My History

I have two children from a previous marriage. A Boy born January 1988, and a Girl born June 1989. Their father left in 1997. I am now in another relationship with a wonderful man and he does not have any children. We decided that we would try for a baby in January 2003. Being over 35 I have begun to realise that getting pregnant is not so easy. The first two came along quite easily, but I feel that the wait for number three has only just begun.
Some of my friends think that I am crazy for wanting another child when mine are almost grown up. I guess they couldn't imagine doing it all again. I will admit that sometimes I think I am crazy for wanting this but I have given it careful consideration and having another baby is something I've always wanted, I have just not had the opportunity until now.

Below I will record my experiences for you to follow if you wish. I will also publish my latest discoveries on having a baby.

Round two!!!

Well, it's now May 2007, doesn't time fly. My baby girl is now a toddler fast approaching her second birthday! And guess what? I'm 32 weeks pregnant!! WE decided when Lucy was about 12 months old that we would like to fit in another baby, a sibling for Lucy. We were going to start trying at the beginning of 2007 when I suddenly found myself pregnant in October 2006! After all the trouble I had getting pregnant with Lucy I just couldn't believe that I was pregnant again without even trying. My GP told me that I'd probably kickstarted my fertility again. Will have to be careful when this one is born!!

I have used this diarypage as a source of inspiration to many others who are trying desperately to have a baby a little later in life, so I don't want to change my story. (it still brings a tear to my eye). But, I would like to share the news of my new baby, so I'll record events HERE!

Also, I've added a brand new guestbook, just click forum at the top of the page, or click here! Hopefully this one won't get hacked. Do come and share your experiences, or just let me know what you think of my site. Thanks, love and babydust, Anne xxx

Latest Update 21st November 2005

Boy doesn't time fly?
My little girl is now 3 months old!! She is a little darling and I love her so much. Last week I had to move her from her moses basket (next to my bed) to her cot to sleep. I still feel really, really lucky to have my precious child. I can't wait for her to grow, to learn to crawl, walk, talk and so on, but I don't want her to stop being my little baby either.

Previous Updates

I have reversed the order so that you can read my story from when I started this site.

To go to the last most recent post click here!

1st October 2003

This is my tenth month of trying to conceive my baby. It seems like a long time trying but statistically 85% of women get pregnant within the first year, so I still have hope that this will happen naturally. I have begun an ovulation chart for the first time this month. This means I have to take my temperature every morning before getting out of bed, and check for other signs of ovulation such as cervical mucas, tender breasts and pain.
If you would like to know more about keeping an ovulation chart please click the building brick.

6th October 2003

I recently watched a television program presented by Dr Robert Winston (The one with the big moustache!) on the Human Mind. He claimed that by visualizing your muscles growing stronger you can actually increase the strength of your muscles. I'm a big believer that the human mind has incredible powers so I think that this theory can be applied to conceiving. Here is an example; Visualize those little wrigglers making their way to your egg and tapping at it from all sides. Then visualize one of them breaking through and getting into your egg to fertilize it. Now visualize your fertilized egg moving down into your uterus and embedding itself ready to develop into your new baby. It is easy enough to do if you have ever seen the process of fertilization on t.v. or pictured in a book.
You may think I am crazy, but everything is worth a try.

9th October 2003

Do you want to choose the sex of your baby? Maybe you already have a boy and would like a daughter or vice versa. Some people even have medical reasons for choosing sex. Personally, as I already have one boy and one girl I really don't mind what sex my next child is. However, there are some interesting theories going around. Today I found an interesting site Gender Selection which covers most of these theories. Here is a short summary:
Timing Method: The time you make love before ovulation is believed to determine whether you have a boy or a girl. Based on the theory that the sperm which produces girls lasts longer.
Diet Method: By eating food rich in potassium and sodium you increase your chances of having a boy. By eating food rich in calcium and magnesium you increase your chances of having a girl.
The Douching Method: The theory is that the male sperm prefers an alkaline condition, whereas the girl sperm prefers acid.

It's all interesting stuff, even if you don't want to choose the sex of your baby. Visit the site for more details.

14th October 2003

When trying for a baby the worst part has to be the 2WW (The two weeks after ovulation until your period arrives.) Currently I have 4 days left of my 2WW. It can be really tempting to go out and test for pregnancy before your period has even arrived. It is said that you can get a positive result with a good testing kit just 10 days after ovulation. Personally, I prefer to wait. After all, two weeks is not that long...is it?

This following link was posted on a message board that I visit. It's a site that offers cheap pregnancy tests. You can also buy ovulation tests and sperm count tests here:
http://www.twolines.co.uk/

20th October 2003

OK, so now I'm two days late. I went out and bought a home pregnancy testing kit. I chose Clearblue as I was told it was the easiest and most reliable.. Now when I had my other two children, home kits were available, but they were quite new and most people still tested at the chemist or with their GP. This is what I did, taking along my little sample jar and going back in an hour to be given my results written on a slip of paper.

I've decided I don't really like home testing kits. Not only is it extremely difficult to pee in a straight line, (Funny, I CAN do it when I don't have to aim for a stick!) it's up to you to decide wether the result is positive or not. It should be easy, with Clearblue, if it's positive you get a nice + sign in the box. Only, what if the verticle line is very faint? According to the instructions, a faint line still means positive, but how faint do they mean? Mine was barely visible, but it was there.

So, am I pregnant. I really can't be sure. I'm going to wait until the end of the week and take a sample to the chemist.

24th October 2003

Not being the patient kind I went out and bought another home pregnancy testing kit. This time I got a big fat positive. I'm so excited I can hardly believe it.

I decided to buy the new digital Clearblue test. It's a little more expensive but you do get three tests instead of the usual two. It's also a little more complicated to use so it's important to read the instructions carefully. What is really easy about this test is the results. You get a very clear 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant' in the digital display box. No need to strain your eyes or hold the test up to the light to see if there really is a line or a coloured dot. I'd recommend these tests to anyone.

28th October 2003

Two days ago I started bleeding. It was not like a normal period but it was a steady flow that lasted for two days. I went to the hospital but it was too early for me to have a scan. The doctor examined me and said that the kneck of the womb was still closed which is good news.
This morning the bleeding seems to have stopped but I will not be able to stop worrying until I have my scan which is booked for the 11th November.

Apparently it can be quite normal for bleeding to occur in the early stages of a pregnancy. Statistics show that it happens to one in five women. This is no comfort when it happens to you, of course you fear the worse. A couple of things I have learned over the past few days are it will probably be ok if you have bleeding that is not accompanied with pain, and it's better if the blood is brown and not red. The most common cause of bleeding is implantion, where the egg is embedding itself into the lining of your uterus. Sometimes, women can bleed throughout their entire pregnancy and still go on to have an healthy baby. Bleeding tends to occur around the time your period would have been due.

1st November 2003

Sad News.

On 29th October I started bleeding again. This time the blood was red and I had cramps. I went back to the hospital and they gave me scan, at 5 weeks and 1 day they could not see anything. I had some blood taken so they could check my hormone levels and sent me home telling me to rest.

The bleeding continued, although it was no heavier than a normal period, I did notice some clots in the blood. I knew that things were not right. Plenty of women assured me that you can bleed as much as a normal period during the first few weeks of pregnancy and still be ok, but my hopes where fading fast.

Back at the hospital yesterday they took some more blood so they could compare the hormone levels with the blood previously taken. Then later in the afternoon I received a phone call that told me what I already knew. I had had a miscarriage.

Although I'm obviously very upset, I am still hoping to have another child. At least now I know that I am still fertile.

If you have had a miscarriage, or this is something you are worried about then please visit my forum and post your message there. One thing I have found very helpful this weeks is hearing other women's stories.

12th November 2003 It's now been almost two weeks since my miscarriage. I'm still sad that I lost the pregnancy but I am trying to stay positive. It's good to focus on the fact that I did actually get pregnant which means there are not any fertility issues with me and my partner. I am hoping that I will get pregnant again very soon and plan to start trying as soon as I have had my next normal period.

It seems strange that during the past year all I have done is hope that my period does not arrive. Now, I am waiting impatiently for it to arrive so that I can start trying again.

25th November 2003

Finally my period has arrived. This feels as though it has been the longest month ever. Now I can think about trying to conceive again. With the Christmas season creeping up fast I think I will just relax about it and start again in the New Year. So I'm not going to bother taking my temps or charting until after Christmas. It's only a month away after all. You never know, I may even have a little extra Christmas present.

16th December 2003

The other night I watched a tv drama about the associations between the MMR vaccine and autism. The story revolved around a fictional mother of an autistic child and the true story of the work of Dr Andrew Wakefield.

Dr Andrew Wakefield was responsible for bringing to light the possible connections between the MMR and autism, but his research was cut off before he could make any real conclusions. Until this work is completed we will never really know the truth.

Statistically, there have not been a large number of cases where parent's believe their child's autism was caused by the MMR, but this is not a real excuse to discontinue the research into the possibility. There have been a large number of cases of parent's refusing the MMR vaccine for their children, this is a real excuse to continue the research.

Measles, mumps and rubella are all serious diseases with some horrific consequences. The last thing we need is an epidemic because of the drop in vaccinations.

20th December 2003

No little extra christmas present off Santa for me this year. My period arrived on time. Still, I didn't let it get to me as it arrived just before my first Christmas party so I went out and had a few glasses of wine guilt free.
There is still next year to look forward to, maybe it will happen for me then. It's pretty scary though entering the second year of trying to conceive. When you first decide to start trying you really do not think it's going to take so long. For now I have the Christmas holiday to keep me occupied.

A very merry Christmas to everyone, and I hope the New Year makes all of your dreams come true. My Christmas present to all of you who are trying to conceive is a truck load of special Christmas baby dust. Good Luck to you all.

7th January 2004

Happy New Year!

Well, I am now into my two week wait until my next period. Some friends that I talk
to on a message board have re-named it the TWOT, or two weeks of torture. I agree
It is most definately the most anguishing time when you are trying to conceive.

Will it happen for me this month? Well, I'll just have to wait! What makes it worse is
that pre-menstrual symptoms are so similar to pregnancy symptoms, for example,
sore breasts, swelling, frequent visits to the toilet. Nature is so cruel sometimes, it
could have been different. Imagine if you could feel different as soon as you conceive
these two long weeks of waiting would seem so much easier. But then you would
know you where pregnant for longer too! Maybe, that's not such a good idea after all.

Well, if it doesn't happen for me this month at least I can go ahead and book a summer
holiday. I guess that will be a little consolation.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, tons of baby dust to you.

26th January 2004

Well, it didn't happen for me again this month. My period arrived on it's due date, 15th Jan. Since then I've been feeling pretty down and wondering on wether to give up on ever having another child. I am back on track now and have decided that I will keep on trying however long it takes. I am even going to take some action by talking to my GP about the possibility of having some tests done. After all, I have been trying for 13 months now.

I have also been considering charting again. Taking my temperature every morning etc. However, I believe I know my cycle pretty well already. I am very regular and get all the signs of ovulation, i.e. slight cramps and cervical mucas. Charting is good for working out your most fertile period but I also think it puts a lot of pressure on you. At present I am thinking that taking a more relaxed approach will be more beneficial to me.

If you would like to know more about charting, and download a chart you can use, please click the following link.

Babycentre Chart

13th May 2004

If you scroll down the page, you may think that I have not updated this site since the beginning of the year. In fact I have been updating regularly but recently my computer crashed. The latest update I'd made of the site was in January so that is what I have to work from. Believe me, I will be updating much more frequently in the future.

Well, to catch up on the last five months. I have not managed to conceive yet. I've not even had any waiting time where my period has been late and I've begun to think that maybe I'd 'done it.' What I have done is visited my GP who arranged for my 21 day blood tests. They came back fine. I've decided not to go for further investigations for another five months. Then it will be one year since my miscarriage. It may seem as though I'm putting it off, but I still have hope that I will conceive naturally and I'm prepared to be patient for a little longer.

Also, I am taking part in a study run by Oxford University, The Oxford Conception Study. Each day from cd6 to cd26 I have to take a urine sample and place it into a monitor. The monitor then tells me the days that I am ovulating. I will be doing the study for six months and at the end I will be given the results of my hormonal activity during that time which may help me to discover the best times for me to conceive.

Currently I am in my two week wait for this month and it's been a strange one already. For the last two months I have been on the Oxford Conception Study I had a positive result for ovulation on cd10 and cd11 for one day only. This month I had a positive result on days 7,8,9 and 10. I'm not sure yet wether that is a good sign or a bad one, only time will tell!

27th May 2004

Well, once again my period arrived on time this month. Will it ever not arrive? You can't help but feel down when it happens, especially when you feel you have done all that you possibly can. It's even more distressing when the Dr's can't find anything wrong with you. The simple truth is that it takes some couples much longer to conceive than others. Patience is the only way forward.

One thing I have learnt is that your luteal phase remains constant each month. This is the period of time between your ovulation and your period. Commonly called the two week wait (although for many it's not exactly two weeks!) My luteal phase is 17 days. I have worked this out by charting my ovulation. You will need to do this for at least a couple of months to work out your LP. You can chart your ovulation by using a basal temperature method or an ovulation predictor kit. The basal temperature method requires you to take your temperature with a basal or digital thermometer every morning before getting out of bed and charting your results. You can also chart the changes in your cervical mucas for a clearer picture. (A sticky eggwhite cervical mucas indicates ovulation.)

You can buy ovulation predictor kits from most chemists. They require you to take urine samples for testing for ovulation hormones. Most are similar in style to pregnancy tests. You can also buy small electronic monitors, but these are more expensive.

To download a blank chart for you to fill in please click here.

6th June 2004

Right, I've been doing the ovulation predictor tests and taking my temperature every day. So now I know for sure that I'm ovulating. After today I will be once again in the dreaded two week wait. I have recently joined Fertility Friend, a site which helps you chart your cycle. It's a little confusing at first but there is plenty of help to get you started. And you can even get a little ticker to show what day your are on in your cycle. Here's mine!

14th June 2004

Just one week of my passed, another one to go. I've got my fingers crossed, but even though I'm optismitic I try not to get too worked up about it. With the luck I've been having my period will arrive right on time on Sunday. Or maybe it will be late this month and give me the chance to at least use a HPT. The two week wait is most definately the worst.

I've found keeping my chart on Fertility Friend much easier than writing one down. The only problem is remembering to log in every day. For the first month you get loads of information for free. Then if you decide to pay a monthly fee you can keep getting that information, or just use a minimal detail chart. I've not decided yet wether I will pay or not. Let's see if I'm pregnant this month first!
Here's a little something for you if you are trying to conceive.

24th June 2004 I had a little excitement this month. My period was due on Sunday and didn't arrive. Still not around on Monday morning I decided to do an home pregnancy test. I got a BFN!! Serves me right for testing too early. Even if I had been pregnant it was unlikely to show up so soon despite what it says on the packaging!

Anyway, even though I'd manage to get a little hopeful, it was not to be and my period arrived Monday evening. So it's on to yet another month.

Tommorrow, my dear partner is going to the hospital for a Semen Analysis. He is younger than me, and less likely to have problems, but then he has not yet fatherd any children and I have had two. I can't decide what our next step will be until we get the results of his test. Until then it's just wait and wait and wait.

1st July 2004

Last week my partner went to the hospital to have a sperm analysis. Now we are playing the waiting game with the results. I do have a feeling that the problem with our ability to conceive will not be found in his results.

After the hospital we went to visit a Chinese Herbalist. After consultation we were prescribed with bags of herbs to be made into tea. They smell and taste disgusting, seriously, but after a week I find I am finally getting used to it. My tea is worse than my partners! Since taking them I've noticed a change already. Usually I have ovulated by CD 9 but now I am CD 10 and I haven't ovulated yet. My temperature dipped today, so if it starts to rise again tomorrow I will know that I have ovulated on CD 11. It may not be the herbs causing this but it does seem a little more than coincidental when my cycle has barely changed at all in the last 18 months. Of course my biggest fear now is that I will not ovulate at all this month. I'll be watching my temperature carefully.

19th July 2004

Well, lots have happened since I last wrote an entry here. First let me tell you that I did ovulate this month, although it supposedly on day 13, not the usual day 9. So I expected AF to arrive late and guess what, she arrived as usual on day 26. I now have no idea what's going on?????

More news! We got the results of DP's SA. I'm sad to say they could be better. There were plenty of them but the motility was not so good and neither was the number of normal cells. I need to do some research into this now and I'll post what I find here, so if you think you might have a problem in the same area, do come back and visit again. I may be able to help you. Of course if you feel you can help me you can always leave me a message in my guestbook.

I'm feeling deflated now, I can see my dream of another baby drifting further and further away.

14th August 2004

My period arrived bang on time again this month. Why am I not surprised?

Anyway, as promised I've found out some information about sperm and what you can do if you discover there are problems.

A normal sperm assessment should show:

Semen volume - 2-4mls

Sperm count - more than 20 million per ml

Sperm motility - more than 50% moving

Sperm morphology - more than 30% of normal shape

White blood cells - should be less than 1 million per ml

Antisperm antibodies test - should be negative

Improving Sperm.

Vitamin C protects sperm from damage; low dietary vitamin C levels are linked to infertility.

Vitamin B12 is necessary for reproduction. A deficiency in this essential vitamin leads to low sperm counts and reduced sperm motility or movement.

Vitamin E protects sperm from oxidative damage that can lead to infertility.

Carnitine is an important amino acid, a deficiency of which can cause low sperm counts and decreased motility.

Zinc is a critical trace mineral involved in male sexual function because it directly affects sperm count and testosterone levels. Food sources of zinc include nuts and seeds - especially pumpkin seeds - whole grains and brewer's yeast.

Siberian ginseng, yohimbe and saw palmetto are herbs that may help treat male impotence.

19th August 2004

I'm Getting Married!!! Well, I knew I was anyway, but after 18 months of being engaged to my partner we've finally decided to set a date for the wedding. It's going to be on my 40th birthday in November next year. I know, it's a long way off but it gives me plenty of time to plan it really special, and you never know, I might even be able to squeeze in a new baby before then!

Actually, thinking about the wedding has helped me to think less about trying to conceive. I believe that taking my mind off it can only be beneficial to my cause. Come on! Nothing else has worked has it? So now I'm all worked up about my wedding, I might even start a new website and blog my progress.

27th August 2004

My cycle appears to be getting longer! I've only just ovulated this month on day 14, since I've been charting my ovulation has occured around days 9 to 11. Maybe this is a good sign, perhaps all the herbs and vitamins I've been taking are working. Ideally I should now have a 28 day cycle rather than a 26 day one. Oh, that means I'll have to wait even longer each month!! Well, you can't have everything can you? All I'm asking for is a baby, is it really too much to ask for? 21 months and still waiting.

Do you like my new ticker? The caterpiller above. It's from the new range at Fertility Friend where you can chart your cycle and get tons of information on ttc.

11th September 2004

Got a bit excited this month. I was three days late! That's the longest time in all 22 months of my trying, apart from when I was pregnant (a year ago now.) I did buy a test, but didn't get to use it as I was waiting for four days to pass. This month is a bad one, when I'm late I get more pain, it's just not fair.

I'm not trying next month, I feel superstitious about getting pregnant the same time as last year, If it happens I'll worry that I'll miscarry again. Seems silly I know, but I feel I need a break anyway. Also, I'll be needing to think about my wedding next year. I don't want to be more than six months pregnant when I get married, so there will be no trying for a few months next spring!

I think I'm giving myself reasons not to try because not trying is less painful, pyschologically, than trying and failing month after month after month.

Good news! One of my internet buddies has found herself pregnant after 32 months of trying, two failed IVF's and a failed IUI. I'm praying that all goes well for her now and she has a wonderful pregnancy. A little inspiration always makes you feel better.

2nd October 2004

What a wonderful month I've had. No temping, no looking for signs, no knowing what cycle day I was on. In fact I had a migraine the other day and my partner asked if my period was due ( I get migraines around that time) and I couldn't answer straight away because I honestly didn't know. However, I had to check then and I've known since. Now I know it's getting closer I find I'm looking forward to starting again next month, refreshed. Wish me luck!

22nd October 2004

Here I am again back in the two week wait, but am I? According to Fertility Friend I haven't actually ovulated yet. Now I'm confused. All the signs said I ovulation on cd11, but because I had a drop in temperature on the cd13 Fertility Friend are not showing it as an actual ovulation.

All I can do is wait, maybe without much hope but you never can be sure.

1st November 2004

Well, I wish I knew what was going on this month. Today on cd 25 I've had a temperature rise. The highest all month. It could be a sign of a late ovulation, but I've never, ever been this late before and I don't have any other signs. So far my chart this month has been quite boring, I had a slight rise on cd 11 which dipped again by cd13 so Fertility Friend have given me a dotted ovulation line. In other words, I may or may not have ovulated then.

For the last two years my shortest cycles have been 25 days long and the longest 28 days. So either way I guess I'll be finding out very soon what my body is playing at. I'm pretty sure that I will be getting a visit off Auntie Flo this month.

6th November 2004

It's been a strange month this one. First I doubted that I even ovulated, then because of a second higher temperture raise it could have been interpreted as triphasic, this is a possible sign of pregnancy.

A triphasic chart shows three levels of temperatures: pre-ovulation, post-ovulation, and then a second rise around 7-10 days after ovulation.

My cycle continued and I became a couple of days overdue, plus my temperature remained raised so once again I began to feel hopeful. Then I began spotting, but being uncharacteristically optimistic I thought this could be due to implantation of the egg. Sometimes, when the egg implantes it moves and discharges small amounts of old brown blood and causes spotting. So I was bitterly dissapointed when my period arrived.

There goes another month and I've come to realise that this just might never, ever happen.

18th November 2004

Here I am back in the old 2 week wait. Can hardly believe I've been doing this for two years now. Anyway, the key word for this month is positivity. I am being really positive about everything. I was positive that I would ovulate properly this month and I did. Know I'm positive that my egg was good and that it's been fertilized and that on December 2nd I will be getting a BFP on my pregnancy test. Then I will be positive that my little beanie will stick around for nine months!

Watch this space!

I came across a website the other day.
http://www.become-pregnant.com/
The woman who runs this site tells her story of how she found it so difficult to conceive but now she has two young children. She will tell you her secret on how she turned her fertility around, but you have to pay first.

Now, I can't blame her for wanting to make some money, who doesn't? But I have to say that if I was privy to this information then I would want to share it with all the other women I have met online who are having difficulty in conceiving. Without charge!

She does say in her FAQ's page that she needs to charge to pay for the cost of running her website, (I pay less that $10 per month for this site!) and she has spent loads of money in research. She now has two children because of this 'miracle' isn't that payment enough?

I haven't purchased her book. Yes, I am desperate but I honestly do not believe that there is some secret that can help you get pregnant. There is also something that the site lacks and that's testimonials from satisfied customers.

9th December 2004

So sorry I'm a bit late with this update! The news is, well, there is no news, I didn't get pregnant last month, in fact my period arrived early! I haven't updated because I've been ill, at the same time as my period's arrival I came down with the flu and was good for nothing for a whole week. Since I recovered I've been trying to catch up on everything I didn't do in that week as well as a ton of other stuff. I'm already approaching this months ovulation and I haven't even given ttc a second thought so far. If only I could be this busy all the time, it does you good to take your mind of things.

I read a book recently about a women trying to conceive, it was pure fiction and although funny it also describes some of the things that infertile women have to go through. The book is called The Baby Trail by Sinead Moriarty. You can buy it on Amazon if you are interested.

My next period is due on Christmas day, wonder if I'll be getting an extra present this year?

26th December 2004

Merry Christmas! I've had the most wonderful Christmas. The day went smoothly, everyone was happy, dinner was lovely, my presents were great, there was no moaning, fussing or arguing, it was perfect. On the evening I went to my brother and sister-in-laws house and we had a wonderful evening. It even snowed on the way home. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. Merry, merry christmas to you all. oh, and my period failed to visit! Fingers crossed, santa may have left me a little extra present!

28th December 2004

I can't believe it! I've had the most wonderful Christmas. On boxing day we went to a party and last night we went to see a pantomine which was great fun. The past few days have been magical and just to top it off I found out today that I'm pregnant! Yes, pregnant, I can hardly believe it. I haven't stopped shaking since I found out. What a fantastic extra christmas present. I truly am blessed.

18th January 2005

Yes, I'm still pregnant. I love saying that! I'm now officially 7 weeks and things are going well I've had a lot of nausea and feel tired all the time. I'm also growing up top and have already had to buy new bras. The danger period is not over yet so I'm still nervous about this baby sticking but every day I feel more positive. I've been to see my GP and now I'm just waiting to get my appointment with my mw. Already I can see how much the system has changed. My GP said I would be treated as a first timer as the last time I had a baby was 16 years ago!

For all you ladies out there who are still trying, don't give up, sometimes it takes a little longer than we would expect or like but while you still have hope there is a chance. Let me share some of my baydust with you all

31st January 2005

I met my midwife today for the first time. She's really nice which I'm pleased about. I know have my pregnancy notes and have discussed my family medical history and childbirth history. It kind of feels more real now, like I'm really pregnant. I can't wait to meet my baby at my 12 week scan, not long to go now!

I've already started putting on weight! My jeans have become really tight and I'm most comfortable in my yoga pants, pity they're not warm enough to wear out! I'm going to a party on Friday so I'm hoping I can still fit into my trousers or I might have to do some shopping...oh any excuse..lol.

The nausea continues, plus a little heartburn, constant visits to the toilet, very weird dreams and lots of tiredness...I'm not complaining, all these symptoms remind me that I'm growing a new little person. If the symptoms dissapeared, then I'd be complaining!

I'm so utterly excited that this is happening to me, sometimes I can't believe it's true.

4th February 2005

I almost gave up on not complaining about symptoms yesterday. I had a really awful day of stomach ache and sickness. I was totally drained and wanted to nothing other than sleep. Thank goodness I felt better this morning. I still feel nausea but I haven't been sick yet today.

In fact I felt so rotton yesterday that I was sure something was wrong and that I was losing my baby. I even did a home pregnancy test this morning to check that I still was. Being pregnant is turning me neurotic!!

I have the date for my first scan, Feb 25th. Not long to go before I get to see my baby for the first time, I can't wait!

Oh, and I can still, just about, fit into my smart trousers so I can wear them when I go out tonight. Thank goodness for lycra! And I've still been wearing my jeans by fastening them with an elastic band around the button and through the button hole. I can still get the zip up almost to the top, just can't fasten the button! The elastic band method is ok as long as you wear a long top to cover it..it doesn't look so good..lol! It's cheaper than buying new clothes that will only last me a few weeks.

15th February 2005

My partner is always telling me how much he loves me, but he doesn't normally bother with Valentines Day, so yesterday I had a big surprise when he presented me with flowers, a teddy bear and a lovely card. It must be because I'm carrying his child. He wants to be careful, I will be expecting this every year now :o)

Today I've been thinking about dopplers. These are ultrasound listening devices which allow you to listen to your unborn baby's heartbeat from about 9 or 10 weeks. I'm not sure if I'm going to get one yet. It would be re-assuring to hear the heartbeat, but I'm not sure it wouldn't make me even more neurotic than I am. What if I couldn't find the heartbeat, what if it was too slow....I'd drive myself insane!

I'll let you know if I do get one but in the meantime I've found some sites that sell or hire dopplers where you can find more information if you are interested.

http://www.baby-beats.co.uk/
Looks to me like the best site.

http://www.babymonitorsdirect.co.uk/
Are a little cheaper to buy

http://www.parentbaby.com/
This is a prenatal heart listener, not as good as a doppler because it doesn't use ultrasound. Also you may not be able to use it until much later, from 15 weeks. It's also a lot cheaper!

Or you could try E-bay, just do a search for Dopplers, they have loads for auction, many of them brand new.

25th February 2005

I'd like to introduce you to my new baby. I hope you can make him out, he's upside down and curled up. The midwife tried to get him to move but the most he did was stretch his legs and wave his arms before curling up even tighter. I guess he wanted to sleep, bless him.

Anyway, now I have confirmation that everything is ok and that there is much more than wind inside there. I truly am a happy bunny today.

15th March 2005

Awww, if you want to see my scan picture you will have to scroll up the page now, or click the link to take you to the last most recent post. Just five more weeks and I'll be getting my second scan....ohh I can't wait!

Well, I'm getting bigger. I'm really quite proud of my little bump. I can stop pinching myself now, I have proof there in front of me all the time that I'm actually having a baby. I've even started to wear maternity clothes. My favourite so far are a pair of jeans I bought from MotherCare with side stretch panels. They actually fit, and they will stretch quite a bit too!

I do think it's about time someone invented maternity clothes for the inbetween stages. Normal clothes are too tight and maternity clothes too loose, you just can't win.

25th March 2005

On Wednesday I had a bleed. I went straight to the hospital where they couldn't find anything wrong. They gave me a scan and I saw my baby wriggling around and waving at me with a good strong heartbeat. (He looked so much bigger than he did four weeks ago.) I was given the all-clear and sent away with unexplained bleeding on my notes. I'm still finding blood but it's not much and it's brown so I know it's old blood. I've been told I'll be ok so long as I don't get any pain. I thought at this stage I could stop worrying, but that's not so!

6th April 2005 These have been the most worrying weeks of my life! Since my bleed on the 23rd March I haven't stopped spotting. I went back to the hospital on 29th March after a heavy bleed and had a full check up. Again they couldn't find anything wrong. My placenta was fine, my cervix was fine and most importantly my baby was fine. I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the very first time. That was nerve wrecking as the midwife took an absolute age to find it, but she did in the end and it was lovely. Another scan showed why the midwife had had problems finding the heartbeat, my baby was doing somersaults, he was all over the place, not staying still for a second.

Well, it's been two weeks now and I'm still spotting on an almost daily basis. I'm trying not to worry but it's not easy. I can still feel my baby moving around which is reassuring and I've had no pain at all. Believe me, at the first sign of pain I'll be straight back to the hospital.

I have my anomaly scan in less than two weeks. I'll be half way through my pregnancy then. I'm just praying that the bleeding will stop and I will get the chance to relax a little. I'm really thinking about getting a heartbeat doppler now. If all is well on my next scan I will hire one so that I can hear my baby's heartbeat whenever I need reassurance.

More news! I had my triple blood test, this is done at around 15 - 20 weeks. The tests measure various markers in your blood:
--hCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin)
--AFP (alpha fetoprotein)
--uE3 (oestriol)

The tests are for screening purposes only and give an indication of whether you are carrying a baby with Down's Syndrome or Spina Bifida.

My results came back as negative for Spina Bifida, but 1:160 for Down's syndrome. Because I came in higher than the cut off rate of 1:250 I was offered an amniocentisis. I refused because of the risk of miscarriage and other personal reasons. Personally, I was quite happy with the results.

Sometimes the blood tests are offered in combination with a Nuchal Translucency scan but these are not offered in my area.

14th April 2005

Some nasty person has hacked and disabled my guest book. This is the second guestbook I've lost this way..all I can say is WHY? I loved hearing from people who visited my site, now all those messages are lost and gone forever. I'm not sure yet whether I'll replace it again.

And more bad news. I've just been diagnosed has having Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD). Basically it means my pelvis has softened and the pubis bone seperated resulting in PAIN! It hurts to walk, sit, stand, lie down in fact it just plain hurts to do anything! I'm going to find out at the hospital next week if I can get physio therapy.

There was me worrying that my teenagers would be embarrassed to be seen with me waddling like a duck when I've ended up walking like a penguin instead. Honestly, an old lady with a limp overtook me the other day on a trip to the local shop!

Just 20 more weeks!

Ohh there is a little good news, I think I've stopped spotting, nothing now for four days...finger crossed tightly.

20th April 2005

It's a girl!!

Again she was not very photogenic, when the sonographer tried to take a photo of her profile she turned to face us full on and that's what we got. Still, we got to see everything, including her little nose and lips, fingers and toes...I'm in love!

I'm back at the hospital on Friday for physio therapy for my SPD. Let's hope it does some good, I'd like to be mobile again.

Say hello to my little girl, she's looking at you!

Must keep saying she, must keep saying she, must keep saying she, must keep saying she!

27th April 2005

I've just come back out of hospital after being admitted on Monday when I had a big bleed. I'm fine now, and baby is doing fine too. I still have no explanation for the bleeding.

I've been told to take it easy (again) but I'm really scared now so I will take heed. I really don't want to spend the rest of my pregnancy in hospital. Everyone at home is being great.

I went for physio for my SPD on Friday. There's not really a lot that can be done about it, basically I just have to suffer! I tried on one of the maternity belts and it helped a little so I ordered one. It arrived yesterday but it was the wrong size! I couldn't even get it around me!! (I have a 44 inch waist now!)

I'll put together some more info on SPD and how it can be helped soon.

12th May 2005

Sorry I haven't wrote for a while. I've been busy finishing off my e-book called Fertility Tips. You can find out more about it on it's own website: http://fertilitytips.mybabydust.co.uk/index.html

I've been feeling much better since my last hospital visit. No blood at all, not even a spot. I'm beginning to feel more relaxed now. Especially as I am approaching my 24th week of pregnancy which means my baby would have a chance of survival if she was born. I think I'd prefer it if she stayed put for another 16 weeks though!

Just heard that here in the UK we are going to have a hot summer! Better start researching ways of keeping cool then!

I finally got my maternity belt (yesterday). It's comfortable to wear while standing and walking but tends to roll up when sitting down. I'll be giving it a full trial tomorrow when I go out.

I won tickets to the Baby Show at Birmingham NEC and me and my partner will be going tomorrow. I'm hoping the new belt will give me a little more mobility. I'm really looking forward to it, I haven't bought anything for this little one yet!

9th June 2005

Phew! Last week we spent re-decorating our living room. I have never felt so useless, I usually enjoy decorating but I got tired so quickly and couldn't do half the jobs I normally do. Still, it's all done now and looking nice and fresh for the summer.

I feel as though I have become huge in the past few weeks, I'm fast approaching my third trimester now and getting excited. I can't wait to meet my new little girl.

I'm still suffering though. The SPD still bothers me and I have some horrid varicose veins which make my legs ache. The heartburn is constant and awful and I'm always breathless. Oh well, just 12 weeks to go!

If you are trying to conceive then please take a look at the e-book I wrote. You can read all about it here: http://fertilitytips.mybabydust.co.uk/index.html. Shameless plugging I know. I'm now writing a book about pregnancy. I'm trying to do something a little different because there are so many books out there on the subject, but most of them have the same information.

24th June 2005

PHEW!!!! It's been so hot here in England the past week that I am now really not looking forward to the rest of the summer. What a nightmare. Apart from the usual aches and pains I now have to put up constant breathlessness and swollen feet and ankles. I did manage to get some support stockings from my GP...mmm very sexy! but when it's really hot it's unbearable to wear them. I just can't win!

Had an ante natal appointment this week, got to hear little one's heartbeat again, always a pleasure. I had to have some rountine blood tests done, it didn't hurt but left me with a lovely purple arm. I will now be having appointments every three weeks, a sure sign that the end is nigh!

I'm really excited about the birth but very scared too. It's been 16 years now since I last gave birth....it's all a blur!

4th July 2005

You may have noticed my posts dwindling. I think it's mainly because I don't want to seem to be complaining all the time! You only have to read the rest of this page to understand how much this baby is wanted and will be loved but I am really not enjoying this pregnancy. When I had my other children I was much younger and I didn't have any problems at all. Well, I did have some spotting with my first but nowhere near the three weeks + spotting I've had with this little one.

The SPD is the biggest problem, it causes me so much pain, sometimes quite unbearable, but life has to go on even though I feel like curling up and doing nothing. My legs ache so bad that I'm barely getting any sleep and just to make sure I don't get to lie down during the day the heartburn is forever present. Lately my hips have begun to ache, I don't know if this is related to the SPD or just another complaint. Please, give me a wheelchair!!

All I can do is hold on the fact that there is not that much longer to go now. I can remember when I first got the SPD and dreaded the idea of suffering for 19 weeks, well I'm more than half way through that now and I'm still here!

This is so not like me, I'm normally such a positive person, but sometimes all this pain just gets me down.

So I'll end on something positive. I now have everything I need for the baby. All my baby shopping is done and it feels so good to be so prepared. So bring it on little one, I really can't wait to meet you!

30th July 2005

On the 13th July I went for a routine ante natal check up with my midwife. It was a very hot day and I was feeling groggy and swollen. I went there hoping and praying that my blood pressure was ok. She started the checks and everything seemed to be going well. Then she listened to my baby's heartbeat and became very worried. Usually at 148-150 bmp it had shot up to 170-180 bmp. She told me to stay rested for five minutes and checked again but the results where the same. She sent me to the maternity hospital where I was put on a monitor for 40 minutes. Everything turned out alright in the end. My baby's heartbeat only became so high when she moved, when she was still it was back at her baseline of 148-150 bmp. Because she was moving almost all the time it looked like she had become tachy cardic, but actually she was fine. The hospital give perameters of 110-180 bmp and as long as baby stays within these perameters then all is well. It did give me a scare though!

On 27th July I went for my third scan and had a surprise. It's ok, they are still saying she is a girl..phew, relief after buying all that pink stuff! But the baby is estimated at 6lb 4oz and she is going to be a whopper. They say baby puts on 1/2 lb per week in the last few weeks so that will make her just over 8lb at her birth time. I'm really hoping now that she's not going to be late!!

I really can't wait now, just one more month to go!

19th august 2005

Wow!!! Just 19 more days to go, that's if this little one arrives on her due date. I'm quite happy for her arrive any time after this weekend, I'm so huge, hot and uncomfortable, but it will all be worth it in the end!

Last week I went to the hospital to learn how to use a TENS machine. I like the idea of anything that relieves pain without the use of drugs so I thought I'd give this a go.
Basically the machine has little pads which stick on your pad and you use the machine to pass small electrical pulses. These pulses stimulate the nerves in your body to help ease the pain. They also increase endorphins from the brain which relieve pain.
When looking for a TENS machine for labour you should make sure that it's an obstretic one. There are others available for pain relief in other areas, i.e. back pain, sports injuries, but the obstretic ones are slightly different. Basically, what you need is a machine with four pads (Some only have two) and 3 controls including a boost button for when you get a labour pain.
When on the machine feels like it's tingling your back and I found it quite relaxing. When you press the boost button the tingling becomes more intense and it's like being massaged. Lovely!

Some hospitals have TENS machines you can use, but it is best to hire one around three weeks before your due date. You can order them much earlier, but this is when they usually send them out. I was a little late in sending for mine as I was already in the three weeks but for just an extra £1 I had one sent out for me the same day.

I tried a few places to hire a machine and this site I found was the best, not only the cheapest but you get the machine for a full 7 weeks hire (some ask for more money after just 4 weeks.) Also, the one I have has re-usable pads which is handy for false alarms, and you can use it for back pain in the last few weeks of pregnancy and afterwards. Some companies offer pads that can only be used once or twice or charge extra for re-usable ones.
This is the site I hired my machine from: http://www.tens-hire.co.uk/index_files/Page339.htm

5th September 2005

She's Here!!!

My gorgeous little girl arrived early on 24th August at 8.01 p.m.
I've named her Lucy Rose and she weighed in at 7lb 13oz.
We are both doing well!
Call back soon and I'll tell you all about the birth and little Lucy
For now here is a photo of my little precious.

Last Most Recent Post

27th September 2005

My Birth story

I was woken at 2.30 a.m. with my first real contraction. I tried to go back to sleep but was woken every 20 minutes or so until 6a.m. By then DP had decided to have the day off work and he helped me fix up my TENS. Then the contractions started to slow down and by 10 a.m. had stopped completely.

I was really dissapointed but kept myself busy with housework, ironing and having a nice bath. By lunchtime the contractions were back and within the next two hours they were coming every 5 minutes and lasting about a minute. I phoned the hospital at 3p.m and went in. As soon as I got to the hospital things seemed to move fast. At first I was only 2cm dilated and they wanted to send me to the ward, but as I'd had a previous section they wanted to monitor me first for 1/2 hour.

20 minutes later I was 4cm dilated and the contractions were coming thick and fast so I wasn't sent to the ward. I was given gas and air as well as using my TENS but soon I started being very sick. I was given an anti-sickness injection along with a dose of pethedine and managed to relax a little more. Around 6p.m. the midwife tried to break my waters but had little success. Shortly afterwards though they did break and then things went really quick.

At around 7.30p.m. they decided that my baby was in distress and wanted to do a blood test. I really didn't want them messing around and told them I wanted to push. They checked and said I wasn't quite ready but I told them to tell that to the baby because she was coming out. Three contractions later and she was born! they did their blood tests on the cord and she was fine.

So the time from when I was in established labour (4cm) to the birth was just 4 hours. I gave birth sitting upright as the bed was a modern new fangled one that could be adjusted to any position. They lifted my back right up and dropped my legs and it worked just fine. I'd wanted to do it kneeling but they refused to let me off the monitors! I had a small tear and a few stitches afterwards.

My midwife was brilliant, it's always a blessing to get a good one. She was 26 weeks pregnant herself. She was particulary good about my SPD and never forced me into a position I couldn't manage (not like the consultant who didn't seem to care at all.) I'll forgive her for commenting on my cankles if she forgives me for making her choke on her orange. (she was on a break when I started pushing!!)

DP was brilliant too. Really supportive throughout, even when I was abusing him. He didn't quite have the courage to look when she was coming out though, bless him! He did cry when he held her for the first time.

Well, that's my story. Relatively easy birth for me and lots of good memories. I hope by sharing it those of you who are worried about your births will see how good it can be. Want to go Back to the Top? Click Here!